Why I never gave up

I'm just a mom. I'm just your mom. People like to put me on a pedistol because I'm a special needs mom and they could "never be as strong as me" 

But they'd be surprised. 

They would have given up, they say. 

But they wouldn't have. 

See to me your not a child with special needs, your simply my child. My child who happens to have profound delays, my child who is different. Who needs therapy, who needs a lil more tough love at times, but mostly, you really are just my baby! 

How do you do it? They ask. 

How have you not lost it? Not given up? 

But how could I. Through the constant fits and ever busy schedule, all I see is my beautiful, smart, sweet special little boy. With his big blue eyes, his dimples smile, his sweet blonde hair. 

How could anyone turn their back on what is so obviously a gift? A precious miracle! 

Why don't I give up? It's not cuz it's so easy, it's not cuz I have never cried and it's not cuz it's not a fight. It is. But you my sweet boy are definitely worth fighting for and standing with. I am so proud of

How hard you have worked. How loving you are. How precious you are. I am so blessed by you! 

So how could I ever give up? In your eyes I see promise, I see joy, but most importantly I see love. Your my baby and I love you more then you could possibly know. 

And my boy you never give up on love.

Look at how far you have come

It's late November 2014, and in the last month, you have came so far. 

In fact, in the last month you have doubled your word count for the last two years. You have been more bonded, we have seen some improvements in attitude. Kaiden you are a rock star

We have always been proud of you, always, but it makes my heart soar, knowing you want to communicate now. That you want to bond more. You now want hugs and cuddles, you enjoy being talked to. You are so exploritative

Your also head strong and onery which gets you in a bit of trouble every now and then, just like your Moma.  I am so incredibly proud of you. So very proud. To see you shed your shell a bit and just be social, happy, and babbling is such a blessing! You have no idea! 

I don't have much time, cuz

You will wake from your nap soon but Kaidn I am so proud, and I believe in you, as I always have, with every fiber of my soul

My sweet boy, God made you

My sweet Kaiden Wyatt, you must know something, God made you. 

He made you a little different, a little slow, and that's ok, infact it's beautiful. You my sweet love were diagnosed a year ago with a Global Developmental Delay and according to the doctors are more likely to be autistic(which we don't see, but that's ok). 

You are wonderfully kaiden. Onery, silly, loud, goofy, moody, bouncy, and just so sweet. God made you as you are. 

You were never an after thought, you were planned down to the last detail. Big blue eyes, cute little dimples, bright blonde hair, a big smile and a temper to match it. :). You were made with purpose! 

For your life God has a plan. 

My sweet boy, I see you struggling to communicate. I see how hard and exhausting it is. I see you having a hard time with small movements and I see you struggling to keep up with people your age. I see it all. But I also see the beauty in each new word, the excitement at each block stacked, the giggle as your brother teaches you. I see for you a bright future. 

In many ways your road has been harder then your brothers. You had a lot more to overcome them he did. A year 2 weeks ago today(and you are 2years and 4 months old) you had just started standing

And wobbling towards a step. You have come through so much in this year and younger so strong! So with this delay God gave you something else: tenacity and Perserverance. 

Lord knows how proud I am of you my sweet Kaiden. You were made with a purpose, given an up hill battle from the start, but I truely with everything in mebelieve  this battle you face is giving you strength for the great things your meant to do later in your life. 

My sweet Kaiden, you were made By God for a purpose, and don't you dare forget how special you are. Because your one of a kind, a miracle, and I am so be blessed you and your brother are mine. 

Mommy and daddy love you sweet Kaiden 

Oh my little go getter.

You don't give up! It's precious to me! How much do I love you?!? I am just in awe of you. You are trying to learn to dress yourself now! And you sat there for 20 minutes earlier trying an trying and wen you failed? Who care? Just keep trying! This was your end product (you are quite pleased with this) 

And you know what so am I. Yes that's a shirt, a pair of shorts, and 2 legs in one leg of a 2nd pair of shorts, it's amazing to me though, the gumption you have! The effort you put in. Your concentration! You are only 2 years old! 2!!!! And yet look at you now! How hard you try. If fills mommys heart with pride! And you have more new words this week no, and shoe! Simply amazed by your progress. By your sweet spirit. It's such a blessing to be your moma!!!! 

Kaiden Wyatt you amaze me! I am so lucky you are mine! Oh how far you will go with that much perserverance! 

Pictures of my sweet little one.

I can see I didn't get a chance to write for you on your birthday. I'm sorry. Sweet boy, you are so dear to us. I cannot believe you are 2 years old. In the last few days, it's oct 2nd we have seen new words, we have seen milestones mer(straw drinking ftw!) and we have seen our fair share of melt downs. Yes, the terrible twos are amongst us :P

You have been such a sweet soul since you were born. Jus really loving, cuddly. We are blessed to have you. So very blessed. As I took and edited your 2 year photos I thought to myself, how truely blessed I am to be your mommy. How very much I love you... How that big smile and those huge blue eyes bring so much joy to the world.... 

You have come so far baby! I love you, my sweet small miracle! 

Mommy 

I love you, my dear one! 

Do you know?

Do you know how special you are? How loved you are?   You have come so far! 10 words! Can you believe that? 10 consistent words! More, cat, go, up, wee, juice, dada, moma, purple, blue, two! That's amazing! You are so full of personality. I mean brimming with it! It's so nice to get to know who Kaiden is! You love songs like if your happy and you know it clap your hands. And how much us that doggie in the window. You love cuddling and Micky mouse club house, and your obsessed with clothes and the outside. Your presence makes our life amazing and we love you so! I am so glad you are ours. We dance all the time, we giggle, we laugh, and we love. You and bug are starting to become best friends. I am so very proud of you Kaiden, my beautiful baby! You are 2 but, I cannot believe how big your are! My cuddle boys, who loves everything, except the word no! I adore you my boy. You shine with every bit of your personality! I love you! Sweet beautiful boy! 

Kaiden-Wayden-Wyatt :)

Oh my beautiful baby boy. How much does your mommy love you. So much. You and your brother are just the most amazing two children I have ever met. You have come so so far lately Kaiden. You added your third word recently "more" and are just so big. Your also drinking out of a straw, which is HUGE in your ability to control your tung and bring more words out! You run all the time, and love playing with buggy. Your favorite things to do are torture your cats (amy and zorero) with too much love, and of course put everything hat like on your head and ROCK it. You are still the most cuddily little boy. You love playing outside in the water, and of course that we have a back yard. You are incredibly understanding of buggy. And you LOVE food LOL. Kaiden you are just the sweetest soul. We love you fiercely. the way you will only know when you have your own children one day. You love reading books, and having them actually read to you :) You LOVE dancing and music. Your a free cuddily spirit... just like mommy. You are simply beautiful. I cant wait to see you grow. Who you will become. Its going to be an amazing ride. I can hardly believe my baby is almost two. TWO YEARS OLD! it just seems impossible! I am so thankful to be mommy to you and Jairmie. I am so blessed God gave you to me. I could never express my love for you. Heres what you look like now :) Love you for always Mommy.

My sweet lil Kaiden butt

I love you dearly sweet boy. Your getting braver everyday. So fun and loving. You are into EVERYTHING. You have two new words. "Up" and "love" these go with your other words of "Moma dada and buba" we all love you so much. You have this smile that just makes the world better you know? You are so sweet and so cuddly it makes mommy never want to put you down. You are learning to play with blocks and cars properly and love music and dancing. Your are slowly learning to defend yourself with your brother who adores you but is a little bit overly aggressive to say the least. You are so happy and so in awe of the world it's a beautiful thing to see. I love seeig you grow and develop and learn everyday. You love our walks around the apartment And stare at cars in wonder. You adore books and food of all kinds. Your delays are slowly drifting out of notice-ability an we are so thrilled and so proud to see this. I love you dearly my Kaiden warrior. More then I could ever say , You have come so far but I promise the best is yet to come Mommy.

My Kaiden Waiden Wyatt

Or that's your nick name. You saw a developmental pediatrician this month. It was good because we know that you do not have autism. We are thankful for this because right now it looks like your path will be a little more normal. We were ready to embrace whatever came frome this appointment and here is what we heard. You have Global delays. That means you are delayed in 4 or more categories for you that would be Cognitive development Expressive language Receptive language Fine motor That being said you have skyrocketed from your last eval where gross motor was your weakest area it's now where you excel. Doctors are certain that by the time you hit 1st grade you will be 100%caught up and we are going to give our all to help that! Upcoming will be a neurology appointment to see if anything else needs to be addressed to help that happen. It's hard so hard to hear that but as I cried you turned around and said "mama" and gave me kisses and I knew my sweet lil Kaiden waiden Wyatt would be ok. And how you have grown! You are able to climb up stairs now! Wow! We are do proudy love! So very very proud! You got this littlest one! I love u. You are sooo big! Oh my gosh are you big and loving and sweet! We love you so much!

I am so very proud of you

In the last few weeks... you have changed so much. I am so in love with your little smile your chubby cheaks your giggles. I love how you dance to music, and love giving kisses. I love that you are starting to say "Moma" again. How i missed hearing your voice. I love you so Kaiden. You are a miracle and a great gift. I cant wait to watch you grow. To see you learn and change. My baby... my dear sweet little miracle is so big now. Its so hard to believe. I love you so much Kaiden. Daddy does too. Its been hard for you... your brother doesnt understand what hurts you. But you adore him none the less. I am amazed at your patience. Your understanding for him. You love food! HEHEHEHE there is not much you wont eat. I adore your giggles. Your sweet smile. You are such a good boy. I know you are gonna be ok. In a few days you have an evaluations. It is to tell us a few things, like why you lost words, are you delayed, or do you have a disability. Either way we know... you are growing up to be a wonderful loving man :) Bless you love... we adore you! Look at how big and beautiful you are! I love you! Mommy